In my mind I am a superhero

In my mind I am a superhero. In reality I am simply just rather strange.

I've been going out a lot, quite possibly drinking a little too much. The side-effect of this is that on several occasions in the last few weeks I have found myself at dodgy clubs, watching the often clumsy machinations of people trying to, for want of a better word 'pick up'. I currently have no interest in such activities, been more intent on dancing (poorly, but with vigour)* but certain of my 'going out' friends are pretty keen on the whole pick-up thing.

Andyway, many of the kids frequenting such places are much younger than me, and this is where my superhero delusion begins. For some reason, maybe as part of my continuing premature mid-life crisis, I have decided to make it my mission to impart the wisdom of my years on such people I deem needing my sage advice.

So last night I was watching a girl get steadily more drunk, sloshing around on the dance floor. Eventually a rather sleazy guy started paying her attention. At this point, I donned my cape (metaphorical) and approached the girl to tell her to go home. She was so drunk by this stage she wasn't quite sure what I was suggesting, I think, so it took some explaining - "You're very drunk, on the edge of what is sensible, and quite possibly about to do something that you may very well regret tomorrow morning, and really, I think it is time you just called it a night and went home". She was confused, more than anything else - the dark hours of the morning hide all sorts of perosnal damage and longing and loss and all sorts of other topics I generally save for my angst blog. As I am rapidly learning, offering insight and advice in the early hours of the morning to ridiculously drunk individuals is often not met with the welcome you might expect.

But who said being a superhero was easy?

If I was actually a superhero, I would definitely have lasers for arms - which would be my both strength and my fatal character flaw - my weapons would also prevent me from human contact because I could never hug anyone without slicing them with my powerful lasers. My special power would be inappropriate psycholigical insightAnd my only weakness would be cats - stand next to one for 30 seconds and I get all sneazy. Like Superman and Kryptonite.

Here is me in full-flight:

* I realised last night that I dance like I am sparring ... bouncing back and forth on my toes in 'long rhythm'**. It must look pretty weird. I bumped a guy on the dance floor last night and spilled his beer, and he looked all scared. I bought him a new one and wasn't until later I realised that it must be obvious that I am a boxer or something from my dancing. I don't know.

** In boxing, you never stand still. If you do, you get hit, and that sucks pretty bad. There are two basic movement patterns - the long and short rhythms. The long rhythm is a mellow back-and-forth bouncing between the feet - your head follows your body. Ali used this style - working the jab and staying outside the opponent's range, and this is the style I have been working on - I have a nice long reach, apparently. The short rhythm is a more aggressive side-to-side movement that involves moving the head and shoulders - this is favoured by close-in fighters, when you're in close you have to keep moving much more rapidly to avoid shots because you have less time to react.