Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's Greatest Love Machine

I called my Mum yesterday, being for the occasion of the Mother's Day. She suggested a rather hare-brained scheme: travelling the Trans-Mongolian (what used to be the Trans-Siberian ) Railway together later this year.

Mum and I have talked about it before ... she was obsessed with Russia as a youngster, and instilled some of that love in me by dumping me with her impressive collection of Russian literature as soon as I was old enough to read them.

It would be ... interesting. We have a rather amusing relationship ... occasionally volatile in the way that two people who are more or less exactly the same but refuse to admit it can be.

But Russia! And China! Across the whole lot in 3 weeks!

In the words of the immortal Boney M: "Oh, those Russians...:

Rasputin

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...